Saturday 9 November 2013

Life is not about Xbox one, it is about Kinnection!

The Xbox One Kinect is a marvellous thing. I’ve always wanted to take gaming matters into my own hands, like some sort of deranged geek vigilante.

“If I didn’t have to rely on these buttons so damn much” I frequently grumble, “I’d grab that monster and kick it in myself!”

Case in point, there’s a fat bloke in Pokemon (it doesn’t matter which version of Pokemon, there’s always a f*cking fat bloke) who stands in your way and stubbornly refuses to move until you have performed some task or the other. If a fat bloke did that in real life, I know that I for one would be first in line to smack him in the gob. We’re not that violent as a society, but we’re busy, y’know?


Maybe that’s how Team Rocket and that lot get started? Perhaps they grew tired of the many, many road blocks in their path, rocks that turn out to be Geodudes, Bug Catchers and Snorlax after sodding Snorlax, maybe one day they just had enough. They love cats and, with the exception of Blowfeld, Dr. Evil and a plethora of other classic villains, cat lovers can’t be bad people, can they?


Well, with the Kinect, your body is the controller. When you play a boxing sim, the right hook you’ll be using is your own and when you play running games, its your own legs that you flail about pathetically. Today, the Xbox one with kinect bundle can give you everything you need to get started in one cut price purchase.

That’s right, the Xbox one with kinect bundle is the future of gaming technology. Finally you can get the ‘hands on’ experience you’ve been looking for. Finally you can play a game without having to rely on buttons, sticks, gizmos or combos, you can play an organic and natural feeling game and also get in a bit of a workout, even if it does make you look like kind of a d*ck (our advice is to close the curtains first). The future is now, which puts us only a few centuries away from the development of the first holodeck, yay! (Oh come on, you know you were thinking it!) 

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